


Mischief Managed

by SoulSong



Category: Norse Mythology, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ;), Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, I think Loki just needs a kick to the pants and a hug, idk how to tag, more tags to come maybe, you pick the order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:44:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16826338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulSong/pseuds/SoulSong
Summary: Loki is on probation with the Avengers for attacking Earth. While there, he begins to have flashbacks to a simpler, happier time...and it is tearing him apart. Follow Loki as he lives through each of the Marvel movies.





	1. Heartbroken

Quick note: seidr is old Norse magic (what Loki uses)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Loki's P.O.V.~

I'm sitting in my room in Asgard, a large black dog that, if it stood on two legs, would be even taller than I am, is laying in front of the fire, enjoying its warmth. I look out the window to see that it's getting close to sundown, painting the sky in beautiful oranges, reds, and purples.

"Your move, Loki." says a light, airy, melodic voice from somewhere to my left..no..in front of me. I turn my head so I'm facing forward and see a beautiful young woman. Her long, silky blonde hair is braided in a few places but left to hang loose in others.

Her fingers are lightly intertwined beneath her chin, her elbows supporting her weight on the table between us, showing off the bangles on her wrists. Her blue-green eyes shine with intelligence and mirth as she looks at me from across the table.

Only now does my brain process her words and I look down at the table to see a chess board. It would appear that we've been playing chess for awhile since we each have a small collection of the other's pieces in our possession.

I scan the board and come to realize that whatever move she just made...was a damn good one. I'm losing. I spend a few moments just staring at the board and trying to see if I can recall what I did to get myself into this horrible position. The lady sitting across from me giggles.

The sound makes bubbles form in my stomach only to pop immediately, creating a tingling sensation in my abdomen. Where have I seen her before? And how the hell do I know what her hair feels like? She gives me a small smile and my heart melts at its warmth.

She places a hand on top of my own and gives it a squeeze "You seem tired. I will leave you to rest." She begins to pull her hand back at the same time that she begins to stand. I don't know why, but I can't stand the thought of her leaving.

I have the strange feeling that, no matter how long she's been here, and no matter how long she stays...it will never be enough time with her. I will always want her to stay. My body moves of its own free will to grab her hand in my own, stilling her as my voice acts of its own accord. "No!"

I let out a nervous chuckle as I recover from the rather forceful tone I just used. "Please, stay. I was just spacing." She gives me a look that says she can see right through me but she relents and takes her seat, resuming her previous position. I look at the board again and make a move.

The game progresses with me digging myself a deeper and deeper hole in the game. I don't care though, I need to remember who she is before the game ends. For some reason I know that, as soon as the game ends, she will have to leave.

So, I persist, prolonging the game as long as I can while I do everything I can to remember who she is. Unfortunately, the game ends with her victorious and myself no closer to figuring out who she is. We stand, and I use my seidr to put the game away without even thinking to do so.

It must be a reflex of mine, developed after repeating the action dozens of times. Another reflexive action is to walk her to the door. I open the door for her and the dog is suddenly between us, rubbing his head against her and whining, not wanting her to leave.

She giggles and kneels so she can give him a thorough petting. After a minute or so, she kisses his head "Goodnight Fenrir." she says as she stands and turns to me. I honestly don't know how to react when she leans up and kisses my cheek. "Goodnight Loki."

I put my hand on my cheek where she kissed me and stare at her in disbelief. I find my body acting of its own volition yet again, but this time, it feels as though I am watching from above, not even in my own body anymore as I watch.

I watch as I take her hand in my own and lift it as I bend over in a bow to kiss the back of her hand. Once I kiss her hand, I stand up and lean in to her to kiss her cheek next. I can see her blush a little and I chuckle. "Goodnight Si-."

I wake with a start, panting heavily as I look around. I'm in a large bed. Out the window I can see skyscrapers and the sun reflecting off of them. I breathe out a sigh as I rub my hair out of my sweat covered face.

A dream. It was just a dream. But why her? And why now of all times? I breathe out another long sigh as I remember the name that I was about to say in my dreams. I can feel the tears spilling over as I cry my heart out to her name on my lips.

~Tony's P.O.V.~

This was not the first time Loki had slept in. It was quite common actually. Although Thor claims that it's not normal for Loki to sleep in at all. Apparently he's usually wide awake early in the morning. An 'up with the sun' kinda guy. I never understood people like that but, I also don't care.

In the wake of the Extremist incident, getting Pepper back to normal, and getting the tech out of my chest, I really don't have the energy to deal with Loki's parole. I really wish Thor hadn't brought him here for it but, apparently, Odin saw it as a fitting punishment for Loki to be forced to help us.

When Loki does eventually join us in the kitchen, I make an offhand comment about him 'gracing us with his presence'. The only thing that stops his knife from impaling my face is Nat's quick reflexes. Thor looks at his brother, his voice calm but hinting to behave "Loki."

Loki just huffs as the knife disappears from Nat's hand. Loki grabs some food and goes over to a chair in the corner where he plops himself down and starts to read. He is quite good at tuning all of us out when he does this so I drop my attempts to out-sass the god. For now.

~3rd Person P.O.V~

Months pass relatively quietly for the Avengers and Loki. There are a few small incidents of terrorists and HYDRA remnants here and there. Loki helps on a few missions but otherwise remains at the tower with an Avenger watching him each time the team heads out.

Loki has had several other dreams/nightmares/flashbacks of the woman from his chess dream. He does his best to keep it secret from the Avengers and his brother though. He spends almost every waking moment either ignoring, or actively avoiding, the Avengers.

He spends every night either avoiding sleep so his memories don't haunt him, or going to sleep dreading what awaits him. The memories of the girl are all pleasant in some way or another, even if they start off sad or upsetting, they end well. But that doesn't make the pain go away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Upset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki continues to dream of the beautiful maiden. Only this is a much earlier encounter.

~Loki's P.O.V~

I almost feel like I'm watching from Valhalla as I look down on the scene playing out before my eyes. A slightly younger version of myself, Thor, and the warriors three are striding through the Asgardian palace, having returned from another death-defying adventure earlier today.

Thor and Volstagg are laughing boisterously as they stride at the front of the group while Sif, Fandral, and myself follow close behind, rolling our eyes at our very loud friends. We're all pleased with the outcome of this adventure and a bit tipsy from the wine we had at the feast.

Volstagg and Thor are bragging about how powerful they were and how weak their opponents were. Fandral, Sif, and myself are also discussing the battle...just in a very different way from our boisterous friends. We are critiquing each other's tactics and techniques from the battle.

Volstagg is leaning on Thor as they walk, both tipsy enough to be laughing messes and just slightly off balance. We in the back remain upright and mostly sober from the feast, glad that we hadn't had as much wine as Thor and Volstagg. Though it was still funny to watch. 

Just as Sif is commenting on what Thor can improve on, she's interrupted by a series of armor clattering and the thuds of people hitting the floor. Myself, Sif, and Fandral look ahead to see that Thor and Volstagg seem to have run into someone, knocking all 3 to the ground.

Us sober friends run over to the trio on the ground. Fandral helps up Volstagg, Sif helps up Thor (because she gets to him first), so I extend my hand to the individual on the ground, apologizing profusely for my friends and brother's poor motor functions.

My words start to fade out halfway through my apology though when I finally see who it is. It's a beautiful young woman with piercing blue-green eyes that shine like the sea. Her long, blonde hair could rival the gold trimmings on her otherwise pure white dress.

She smiles and accepts my extended hand "It is quite alright. I am glad they enjoyed themselves tonight." I help her up in silence and release her hand. Before I can unglue my tongue from the roof of my suddenly bone-dry mouth though, Sif strides over and beats me to it.

"Still, these fools were blind enough to walk into you, and for that, I apologize." The lady's smile is warmer than the midday sun "As I said, it is no trouble at all." Thor, who is apparently sober enough to know he's screwed up, takes her hand and kisses the back of it as he bows.

"No, that should not have happened. I am sorry for my behavior, my lady." Again, she only smiles "You are forgiven sir. I am more concerned for your friend, he does not look well." She says forlornly as she looks at Volstagg, who is looking ready to either pass out...or regurgitate his last meal.

Thor and Fandral grimace as they each immediately grab one of Volstagg's arms and begin to drag him away, presumably to get him somewhere where he might be able to do both. Sif smiles at the woman, extending her hand. "I am Sif. I am sorry you can't meet the others today."

I extend my hand next and she accepts it. I kiss the back of her hand in a small, polite bow, as I was always taught to by Frigga and Odin "Loki." She smiles again as I straighten up and release her hand "A pleasure to meet you both. I am ___." Her voice loses its sound as she says her name.

I can feel this world fading away as the voices do. I wake in a cold sweat half-yelling the word 'No'. I curse my brain for refusing to let me hear her name again. It's like it was trying to torment me...just like everyone else. I'm honestly not sure I can keep this up much longer.

I rarely had a problem keeping up appearances, but this farce was not my doing. It was not my decision. Odin. You were the one who created this stupid facade that she never existed. And for what? To save face? Why do you pretend to care? You only ever cared about your vision of Asgard.

I furiously wipe away the tears before they can roll down my cheeks and take a deep breath. It's almost comical how alone I am in this. There was not one person in Asgard who was closer to her than I. I'm the only one who truly knew her, who saw her when she wasn't smiling.

Sure she had other friends but...it was different with us. By the Norns I wish it had been me. Then again, would she have mourned me? Would anyone mourn me with her? Or...would she be alone? Like me. Would Odin have forbidden speaking of me too?

Suddenly, there's a knock on my door, followed quickly by Thor telling me what's for breakfast. I don't care...but, if I am to keep Thor from asking me questions I will need to pretend that I do. So I, reluctantly, get out of bed and get dressed. I open the door.

Thor immediately looks concerned when he sees me. Here we go. "Are you alright brother?" There it is. I roll my eyes. "Oh I'm fantastic brother. Truly I am. After all who wouldn't want to be locked up in a tower on another world surrounded by people who hate you?"

As I say this, I push past him and head for the kitchen, not even trying to hide the sarcasm and malice in my voice. I'm so sick of this charade. Thor, shockingly (not really), doesn't appreciate my attitude as he follows me into the kitchen and reaches for my shoulder.

Too bad for him, I teleport a few feet away so he can't grab me. "Loki." He growls threateningly. I just huff "What?" "This isn't about your sentencing here. So what is it?" Curse him. He would figure out it's not that. I never talk about what actually bothers me.

I talk about things that annoy me, but I yell about things that bother and upset me. I sigh and look away, prepared to retire to my usual chair to read the day away. Before I can though, Thor is already talking, and his words make me stop in my tracks with my back to him.

"Loki please. You used to always tell me what bothered you. I don't know why you stopped but please, trust me enough to do it again brother." My fists clench and unclench as tension ripples through my muscles and into the very center of my being. He's right.

There was a time when I wouldn't have hesitated to air my grievances to him. There was a time when I could pull harmless pranks on him and he'd laugh along with me. There was a time when I would help him with his studies and he would let me practice seidr on him.

There was a time when I trusted him above all others. There was a time when it was just the two of us against the world. There was a time when I would have given my life for him to live and he would do the same for me. There was a time when we were as close as brothers could be.

But...things change. Thor wants me to talk about it, but how can I? How can I tell him that the man he idolizes, his father, is the thing that drove us apart? That's when the anger set it. Like a raging fire it burned through my very being, scorching my heart. With that...I snapped.

I spin on my heels to face Thor, my face only just barely masking the anger I feel inside, hiding it behind a veil of sarcasm "Oh yes. Talking. Because that's what our family has always excelled at." He shoots me an unamused look "Loki."

My face now contorts to show the depth of my anger. "You want to talk about what's wrong? Fine. Let's list off all of the mistakes Odin has made shall we?" Thor opens his mouth, but I don't let him speak "Oh that's right, we couldn't possibly do that. We'd be talking into next week."

Thor is pissed. I don't care. "Leave father out of this, he has nothing to do with this Loki!" Thor roars as dark clouds start to gather outside. I don't back down. Instead, I roar back "He has everything to do with this Thor!"

"No he doesn't and you will leave our father out of this Loki!" "Odin lied to me about what I was, who I was, and why I was different for my entire life! He lied about everything Thor!" Thor's face softens a bit, but he's still loud when he speaks.

"Loki, please! I'm sure father had his reasons!" I'm so done with that line. I don't care who hears me, I'm gonna get this off my chest. I'm still fuming, and I can feel my Jotun form coming to the surface as I continue.

"Oh? And how do you explain what he did to Fenrir!?!" Thor was definitely not expecting me to bring him up. Thor's voice is quiet, firm, and apologetic "Loki...you heard the words of the prophecy. Fenrir...he-."

I am seething as I reply, my voice quiet but cutting like daggers as I stand there, caught between my Æsir and Jotun forms. My skin is a pale blue, my eyes are orange, and the Jotun markings are just barely visible tattoos on my skin instead of the ridges they're supposed to be.

My breath is slightly visible as my body creates a small area of cold air around me. "So. One seer claims that Fenrir will one day kill Odin and bring about Ragnarok, and Odin is suddenly allowed to kill him?!" We stare at each other in complete silence.

All of the rage is gone from Thor's face, his arms are still tense but his voice is quiet for once. "Loki...I-I'm so sorry. I-. Fenrir didn't deserve that. But father has a duty to protect the Nine Realms from the things that threaten them. What he did...he did for the good of Asgard."

What a load of bullshit. Odin acted out of self-preservation when he took Fenrir away. Her name is on the tip of my tongue, threatening to spill forth like my rage just did. "S-." And yet, something stops me.

It's not rage. It's fear. Fear that, once I say her name, then I will plunge into that dark hole I fell into when she first vanished. I can't go there again. I chuckle bitterly as I look away. I can feel my form changing back to the Æsir form as I head for the door.

I leave the kitchen, going to my room quickly and quietly. I don't care what the Avengers think. I want Thor to understand my hatred for Odin but...there's more to it than that. I'm not even sure I know what I really want.

That's not true, I know exactly what I want. I want Odin to apologize for what he's done. I want Fenrir to be here to comfort me when I'm alone, just like he used to. But...even more so...I want to know what happened to her.

I deserve to know that much do I not? No. I want her to come back and tell me all the reasons why she loved me. After all, if such a sweet, gentle soul could love me...then perhaps there's still hope for me yet. Then again...if she loved me so much...then why did she leave?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	3. Stunned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another encounter with the mysterious woman that haunts Loki’s dreams.

~3rd Person P.O.V.~

An uncomfortable silence hangs in the air after Loki's departure from the kitchen. The Avengers exchange glances while Thor stands rooted to the spot, staring at the door that Loki left through. A few minutes pass with no one speaking or moving. Eventually, Natasha breaks the silence.

She clears her throat, getting everyone's attention including Thor's. "Who's Fenrir?" Thor sighs and goes to sit in a chair in the living room. Everyone else joins him there and it takes him a minute or two to find his words. His hands are clasped between his legs and he's leaning over his legs.

"Fenrir...he was Loki's dog. We were young when he got Fenrir and, frankly it was so long ago that I don't remember how Loki came to possess him. But...Loki raised and trained him. Fenrir didn't like most people and it took him awhile to trust anyone besides Loki."

Clint speaks up "And, your dad killed Fenrir because a see-er said the dog would kill your dad?" Thor sighs "A seer, a person that can see the future. They saw Fenrir kill Odin and bring about Ragnarok. The destruction-no. The end of Asgard."

Tony chimes in "I'm sorry but, can someone please tell me that Loki didn't attack New York because your dad killed his dog." Thor sighs and, for a minute, everyone thinks he's going to say that Fenrir is the reason he attacked New York. None of them are prepared for what Thor says next though.

"I'm sure some of it is from Fenrir but...I do not think that is the only thing." Thor swallows nervously. They want to ask what else it could be, but it's clear that something is bothering him. Steve says quietly "You don't have to tell us, but please know that we're your friends. You can tell us."

Thor nods and sighs "I do trust you friends." He looks at them apologetically. "But I am afraid my father has forbidden talking about it." They were not expecting that at all. "Your Dad forbid people from talking about it?" Bruce asks in disbelief. Thor only nods.

~Loki's P.O.V.~

I lock the door to my room. With nothing else to do, I lie down and go back to sleep. I watch the palace form around me. Although, I am soon aware of several things. Least of which being that I am covered in blood, as are Thor and the warriors three.

It takes me a moment to realize that we are in the infirmary. Sif and Fandral took really bad hits during our latest battle and we rushed them back here once the battle was won. Thor and Volstagg are panicking and I am cursing my inability to learn healing spells.

Then Thor, Volstagg, and myself are led out of the infirmary so the healers can get to work. Maybe an hour later, we are allowed to enter the room once again. When we do, we see that our friends are fully healed and awake. That was fast. Unnaturally so.

Thor asks the head healer what happened. The elderly woman beams and points to another bed further down where a soft yellow light can be seen. I look closer and realize the light is coming from a healer. "She is our new healer." I can hear Fandral nearby "Well, I should like to thank her."

The elderly lady stops him as he moves to get up "I will bring her over. You should rest. She heals injuries but she cannot restore fatigue." Fandral sighs but nods, allowing her to fetch the new healer. Not a minute later, I hear a familiar, enchanting voice behind me. "We meet again."

I spin around, only to be met with a familiar smile. I am not the only one struck dumb by this development. Thankfully, I recover first. I let out a half laugh "So we have. I did not know you were a healer Lady Sigyn." She grins and strides past me to check on Fandral and Sif.

"You do not know everything about me." I can't help but chuckle at that. Indeed this is true. The only other time I have seen her was in that hallway when we first met. And yet...I had not stopped thinking about her once for the full two weeks that have passed since then.

"So, Sif, been to any good parties lately?" All of chuckle at that and Sif smiles "No, but then again, there will likely be one tonight." Thor nods "Indeed. You should come Lady Sigyn." Sigyn almost grimaces at the offer, but it is only a hint before she gives him a polite smile.

"While I appreciate the offer, I am afraid us healers are not invited to such events." Thor waves off her comment like one might a fly "Nonsense. I insist. It is the least I can do after our last encounter." Sigyn still seems hesitant but Sif whispers something in her ear and she relents.

"Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated." Thor beams but we are quickly asked to leave so as not to distract the healers. We leave with the promise of seeing Sigyn at the feast later. Its strange. I do not think I have ever looked forward to a feast before. This should be interesting.

It has been so long since I have met another competent seidr user. I cannot wait to ask Sigyn about her healing magic. The hours fly by and soon I find myself among throngs of Asgardians celebrating our victory on Vanaheim. As usual, Thor has a small crowd gathered around him, listening to the tales of his latest exploits.

I am enjoying a somewhat quiet corner of the hall, sipping my mead and laughing as my brother gets drunk...again. I sigh in disappointment, knowing that my brother has failed to learn from his previous mistake. I almost choke on my drink though when I see who has just entered the hall.

Sigyn. By the Norns who gave her the right to look so amazing? She's wearing a long white dress with silver bangles on her biceps and a silver circlet on her forehead. Its design is very simplistic, but the moonstone hanging from it catches my eye from every angle.

I am mesmerized. She practically glides across the floor, her dress just short enough that it does not drag on the floor. Then...she sees me. Oh no. She caught me staring. What the shit am I supposed to do?! She smiles and approaches my corner of the hall.

She only gets about halfway when Fandral steps up, greeting her. I can see her smile and greet him. He holds out his hand to her and she, hesitantly, takes his hand. I watch as Fandral leads her through the dance. She knows exactly what she is doing.

The song ends and she gives Fandral a proper curtsey before she walks away. It takes me far too long to realize that she is walking in my direction. When she reaches me, she smiles "Hello Loki." Norns her voice is amazing!

I smile and give her a small bow "Lady Sigyn. It is good to see you made it. Enjoy the dance?" To my surprise, she shrugs. I do not have time to stop my eyebrows before they are shooting up onto my forehead.

She giggles "Really? And here I thought you looked to be enjoying yourself." She shrugs again "I like dancing. Just...not in public." Ah. She does not like the audience. I nod and hum to show I understand as I take another sip of mead.

A server comes by and Sigyn gets her own cup of mead, thanking the server. In my entire life, I have only ever seen Frigga thank them. Just who is this woman? Time to find out. I clear my throat and she looks at me.

"I must admit, I thought the Queen and I were the only seidr users in Asgard. Would you mind telling me where you learned?" She grins at me. "Oh now that would be telling." My jaw drops as she sips her mead.

She giggles "Oh come now your highness. You did not honestly think it would be easy did you?" I cannot help but chuckle. "Is that a challenge Lady Sigyn?" She hums non-committedly. "Call it what you will your highness. It matters not to me."

The memory fades as I wake. I sigh. I forgot how much sass she had. She had always seemed so sweet and innocent on the surface. It is what made talking to her so interesting. She always knew just what to say to get under my skin. And I honestly could not get enough of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. Nostalgic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki reminisces on his time with Sigyn in solitude.

How many days have I been confined to my cell? Odin decided that my sentencing on Midgard wasn't punishing enough, so he had me moved to a cell in Asgard. Initially, I had welcomed the chance to get away from Thor.

Now? I honestly missed it. I missed the freedom. I missed the changing scenery. Was that Odin's plan? To give me a taste of freedom before taking it away? No. It wasn't freedom. It was an illusion. Just an illusion.

I learned a long time ago not to trust anyone. I knew that even before I learned of Odin's lies. I kinda miss that blind faith in people. It was nice. Blissful even. I am not entirely sure when I stopped trusting people.

... No. It was after Sigyn. I sigh. In the relatively empty cell I often find myself bored beyond belief. When I am bored, I think. Sadly, my mind only wants to think about everything that brought me to this moment.

It is foolish really; to think about such things. It will do nothing to improve my current situation, nor will it solve any of my problems. Yet still I think about it. What is wrong with me? Maybe it is the solitude? Guilt perhaps?

I close my eyes, letting my mind wander to thoughts of my past. I decide to pick a particular day. Despite it being over 200 years ago, I remember it clearly, as though it were only yesterday. It was a warm spring day, and I was in the palace gardens with Thor and my moth-Frigga.

Frigga was picking flowers to fill the vases inside the castle. She had also chosen to spend the day lecturing us on our behavior around women. Father was encouraging us to start thinking about marriage and to 'sample' the women.

Frigga, on the other hand, wanted us to be more...delicate, in our approach. Thus, she began teaching us what women like so we could at least make a decent attempt at courting a woman should one strike our fancy.

Ridiculous really but I was not one to argue with mother. She knew what she was doing and, if her stories are to be believed, it took father several tries to successfully court her...and those first attempts were absolutely terrible.

Mother wanted to, at least, ensure that we did not make women uncomfortable or offend them in any way...like father had. That had always amused me, learning that the great and powerful Odin, had failed at something multiple times.

It made him more, for lack of a better word, mortal. After all, he is the wise and almighty Allfather. In the eyes of Asgard, he can do no wrong. Thus, I was determined to succeed at this one task where our father had failed.

Thor was also interested in mother's lessons, but for a very different reason. Those mortals of Midgard see Thor as their hero. The mighty god of thunder. However, if any of them bothered to research his story as a god, they wouldn't think so highly of him.

They are not wrong in their belief of him as the god of thunder, but if you limit yourself to that, you miss an important detail. The Norse texts explain it very clearly. Thor is the god of thunder and fertility.

Why? Because he brings the storms and the rain. And rain makes crops grow. However, Thor is not, specifically, the god of crop fertility, just...fertility. By the Norns Thor enjoyed that technicality thoroughly.

That is one of the reasons why mother was talking to us. She was encouraging me to look around while simultaneously trying to teach Thor to...take his time. Whether or not Thor actually took any of mother's words to heart, I will never know.

I chose to ignore Thor, and women, for the most part. It is not that I wasn't interested in women, but rather that no woman interested me. Sif was no more than a friend for me to even consider courting her.

Freyja (goddess of love, sex, beauty, etc.) was too short-tempered for me. She couldn't take a joke, sarcasm, or being ignored. She was, in layman's terms, an attention whore. If I was reading, which I often do, she could not simply enjoy my company. She had to have my full attention.

Gefjon (goddess of fertility and agriculture) clearly sought a man of great strength and prowess for her husband, like Thor or Volstagg. I clearly do not fit that criteria and I don't plan to change that any time soon.

Iðunn (goddess of spring and eternal youth) was quite beautiful, with long golden hair and a kind heart. As kind and beautiful as she is though, she was too self-conscious. She was too concerned with keeping herself young and beautiful.

I could go on but the list speaks volumes. That is why, when I was told to keep an open mind, my mind immediately fixated on Sigyn. She was not a goddess of the court like Sif, Freyja, and the others so it was not expected for her to even be considered.

However, there was no law saying that I couldn't court or date her, it just simply was not the norm. But when have I ever cared about expectations or following traditions? Besides, I am not the heir, Thor is.

Thus, it was Thor who truly had to be careful in his choice since whoever he married would then become queen of Asgard. I am not sure Thor ever considered that while he enjoyed 'courting' the goddesses that flocked to him.

Honestly, their 'thirst' for him was sickening. And now? I have to deal with the Midgardians fawning over him. But I am getting off track. That day, in the garden, mother was telling us what it meant to give a woman certain flowers.

Ridiculous really. Why not simply give a woman the flowers she likes the most? What if a woman dislikes roses? The looks I get from Thor and mother when I ask these questions was truly a sight to behold.

Thor, confused as ever, while mother just smiled. She explained that the meaning of flowers is used before you know what her favorite flower is, or if she has no favorite. She would have an answer to those questions.

She isn't goddess of marriage for nothing I suppose. After collecting the flowers, Thor and I help her take them inside and arrange them in the vases around the castle. Thor may not have appreciated mother's love of flowers, but he knew when to simply smile and nod.

Every woman was fawning over us at that point. They knew Thor was looking for a queen and they knew I would be the key to living like a queen without the responsibility of the title. In that respect, I suppose I got more attention than Thor. Not that I wanted any of it.

After all, excess attention meant less time to study seidr or to read. I had Fenrir which helped to thin the herd somewhat. After all, there were plenty of goddesses too frightened by my friend to even approach me.

I had Fenrir first and I would not be giving him up for a lady. Of this I was certain. A few women complimented the arrangements my mother made with the flowers, but few stayed longer than a few moments before rushing off to attend to something.

"Molte (cloudberry) and Stor nøkkerose (white water rose). What a delightful combination. The sweet cloudberry coupled with the aphrodisiac water lily makes for such a beautiful mix. Such a lovely arrangement my queen."

Mother, Thor, and I all turn to see Sigyn admiring the last vase mother filled. Mother smiles "Thank you. I had no idea the water lily was an aphrodisiac." Sigyn nods "It also makes a good sedative in stronger doses."

Mother smiles and motions to the arrangement she is currently making "And what do you think of this one?" Sigyn approaches, examining and admiring the flowers. "Vivendel (honeysuckle), Revebjelle (foxglove), and Liljekonvall (lily-of-the-valley)." She hums.

"A lovely choice my queen, although..." She glances at Fenrir who has been eagerly sniffing the flowers all day. She gently pushes the side of his head so he is no longer facing the vase. "highly toxic when consumed. Do be careful to not let this one eat any of them."

Thor chuckles "I was not aware that wolves ate flowers." Sigyn smiles and shrugs. "They do not normally, though they are prone to eating plants when they are feeling unwell so they can regurgitate whatever is making them feel ill."

I remember how impressed I was at her knowledge. Not only did she know the uses and dangers of the flowers, but she also understand animal behavior. She must have trained as a healer alongside her seidr training.

My mother was equally impressed by Sigyn. Sadly, Sigyn soon had to leave us. As we walked, my mother turned to Thor and me. "That Sigyn is a smart one my sons. You would be wise to add her to your lists."

Little did my mother know, Sigyn was the only woman on my 'list'. My mother's encouragement was not one that I required, though it certainly did bolster my confidence in my decision. I remember going down to the infirmary the day after and inviting Sigyn on a walk.

I did not expect her to agree to accompany me. I also didn't expect her to join me for lunch a day later. Nor did I expect her to hold my hand when I offered it a week later. And I especially did not expect her to return my kiss a month after that.

My time with Sigyn was the happiest time of my life. She was so full of energy and that faith in others that was so easily shattered for anyone else. However, nothing I ever did ever made her mad or lose her faith in me.

By the Norns what I wouldn't give to know why she trusted me so much. It's not like she didn't know I was lying so much. In fact, she usually saw right though me. But, instead of calling me out on it, she usually just let me continue with my lie.

Great. Another thing I don't know. Why did you have to leave me? Did you mean any of the words you said to me? Was it all a lie? My hands cover my face as I work to clear my head. No! I can't start thinking like that! It will only make things worse.

I sigh. I don't even have Fenrir this time to comfort me. That thought alone only makes me feel worse. Ugh! Why did I have to think about this now? ... As I contemplate what to do now, my mind drifts to another memory.

It was some time after our kiss, and I had been overthinking things...again. I'd been doing it a lot that week. Apparently, when I'm thinking really hard about something, my face scrunches up. The room is absolutely silent as I think over the events of the last few days.

Suddenly, someone pokes the tip of my nose. "Boop." I almost jump out of my seat in my surprise. "Hehehehehe!" I look up to see Sigyn giggling. "You could learn a thing or two from Fenrir." My eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"And what, pray-tell, could I possibly learn from Fenrir?" I ask, more than a little sarcastic but no less curious. She grins "Simple. You think too much! Fenrir can teach you how to think less!" I can't help but chuckle at her smile. "I suppose you do have a point there."

She smiles brightly. By the Norns her smile could rival the sun. I sigh. This isn't helping. I miss her so much. She always knew just what to say to cheer me up. Please my dear...just come back. I don't even care if you don't come back to me!

I just want you to come back and answer that one question no one else can. Oh great and powerful Norns, I pray to you now. Please, bring Sigyn back to us. If that is truly too much to ask of you, then please...just tell us where she went.

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	5. Announcement!!!!!

I'm so very sorry for the hiatus. Unfortunately, I need some more time to focus on work and school. I will pick this one back up when the idea factory is back up and running. Again, I apologize for keeping you all waiting this long.

I've been agonizing over the next few chapters and none of them are where I want them to be. I need to step away from this story for awhile. I promise this story is not done. I definitely want to finish this. I just can't do it right now.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.

**Author's Note:**

> I also post stories on Wattpad. Title there is: Mischief Managed (Loki x OC reader).


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